The Truth
So something i never really discuss but since I've started blogging why not... who knows it might help someone...
So one of the biggest life events i have experienced in my 22 years of being alive was coming out as gay. Some of the most common questions i got asked were: When did you know? What changed? How was telling your family?
At first i found it quite hard to answer these question but now I'm pretty chilled about it all!
WHEN DID I KNOW?
Well i'll start from the beginning because it a very good place to start! haha SO i always thought that i wanted my future to be with a woman up until the age of 19, i wanted marriage, kids, a house and a dog... i don't know if this was because i had 3 older brothers and i wanted to be like them or i saw what they were doing and just thought that was very normal. I was also bought up on council estate and didn't really know what gay was.
At the age of 14 i kissed a boy (i know very young but it was just a kiss ;P ) Mum stop reading now! Haha! i still wanted to be with girls and still had the same aspirations and boys became more of a fun thing and i never ever could have seen myself with a guy.
When i started college one of my friends bought a boy to a party and i thought in my head "oh he's nice i wouldn't mind having a bit of 'fun' with him however nothing happened. Then i ended up in a relationship with a girl that i loved to pieces and thought that i had found the one! I was with her for around 2-3 years. Unfortunately we drifted apart and our lives changed etc and at this point i went to a party and met that very same guy again and i knew it was a sign and for the very first time in my life i knew i would be happy to be in a relationship with a man... So i phoned my family the next day and explained and their replies were all pretty much the same... they all kind of knew...
I mean in year 3 i was practically wearing a rainbow flag! This is one of the outfits i chose and i would only leave the house if it matched
WHAT CHANGED?
Nothing changed really i just was who i was before but just a little more open about things. I guess i grew up a bit and realised who i was and what i wanted to be. One of the strangest things that changed was the way i Performed. Not in a way of "oh I'm gay now i can dance and sing" but i feel performing has so much to do with life experience. Like when i had sex for the first time i just understood what dance was about a bit more, so much of dance is about sex and passion and the feeling is hard to imagine unless you've really felt it.
HOW WAS TELLING YOUR FAMILY?
Fine actually, my mum already knew but she was more upset that i had been dealing with it by myself for so long without being able to tell her. But as i explained earlier it wasn't that i wasn't able to talk with her about it, it was more the fact i didn't need to at that time. Also the one thing i feared the most was people completely closing the book if i had said i was bi-sexual from such a young age i would have just been told i was just gay and hiding it but i really did have feelings for girls at that age.
My brothers dealt with it pretty well as well. One of them couldn't even let me have my moment he had to try and compete with me haha!
I felt such a great weight lifted off my shoulders when i came out and if anyone is reading this don't be scared to send me a message if you need anymore guidance. However i don't believe anyone needs to 'come out' anymore... straight people don't 'come out' as straight.
If you need any help or have anymore questions just comment below or email me :)
or alternatively there are some great websites and helplines:
